But first… what is a player? A player is known as a guy who juggles multiple girls at once. He enjoys casually dating, having sex with multiple partners, and talking to multiple girls at once. I’m sure you’ve encountered or dated a guy like this at one point in your life or even multiple times. Guys who are players enjoy this lifestyle. It feels thrilling, rewarding, and at times like an accomplishment for him.

 

These are the kinds of men that will usually waste your time. Not necessarily because they are bad guys, but because they are looking for fun or multiple women. It’s important to know who you’re dealing with first before I give you the advice that you need to not allow another man to waste your time again.

 

BUT FIRST… WHY DOES UNDERSTANDING PLAYERS MATTER?

Well, it matters for a lot of reasons. But let’s start with the first reason. When you meet a guy and are getting to know him you want to learn his intentions. You want to know if he is looking for something serious or for something casual. This will save you a lot of time and energy when finding a man that is serious.

 

Now what I’m about to teach you is something every mother should be teaching their daughters. It will save you a lot of stress and trauma! Keyword… Trauma. Why do I say trauma? Let’s dive deeper into why getting caught up with players can cause a lot of trauma.

 

Imagine you are a very conservative girl. You don’t just want to have sex with anyone. Or maybe you are open to having sex with a guy but you are very emotional. When you have sex with a guy you might get attached easily. Or maybe you just prefer having one sexual partner or you are looking for a serious relationship.

 

In either of these situations, you have to be careful falling into the player-loop. This is a term I created and falling into the player loop is extremely dangerous and can cause you trauma and in even worse situations it can break your spirit and cause serious long-term mental damage. The player-loop also creates a lot of insecurities.

 

So let’s define what the player-loop is. I’m going to describe to you a scenario to show you how getting caught up in this loop happens.

 

THE PLAYER-LOOP

You meet a guy you like. Maybe he’s handsome and you love the way he talks. You go on a date with him. He starts telling you how attractive you are. He leads you on. You and him have a great conversation on the date. You tell him about your dog, college classes, and your family. He seems interested in everything you are telling him.

 

You don’t have sex with him the first day. You go home and he texts you “Hey I had such a great time with you. Hope you got home safe”. Yo check your phone and you’re smiling. You go out with him again. The second date goes just as well as the first except this time you and him have sex…. and this is where things change.

 

After the second date and after you have sex with him one of two things happen. I’ll give you scenario 1 and scenario 2.

 

SCENARIO 1

After the second date, he starts showing less interest. All of a sudden he starts showing less enthusiasm in his text messages. He’s responding to you less. You can all of a sudden feel a shift of energy changing. You know something is different. You start thinking about all the nice things he told you. All the compliments he gave you before you both had sex.

 

You even remember the sex itself. You start feeling bad but you haven’t given up hope yet. You try to set up another date with him and he either dosen’t reply or he gives you an excuse about not being able to make it. You never end up seeing him again.

 

SCENARIO 2

After the second date, he continues to show you interest. You meet up with him a third time. You and him go out again and after the date you have sex again. The 4th time you meet up with him you go straight to his apartment and have sexual intercourse again. You start becoming more attached to him. You become more sexually comfortable with him.

 

Now you start asking him questions about where this is going. He says he wants to take things slow but he is open to anything. He starts giving you hope. But he isn’t giving you direct answers. You feel like he is playing with your mind. But the mystery keeps you coming back. He is smooth, fun to be around, and maybe even charismatic. Boom! This is where you went wrong!

 

Something about him keeps you coming back. But you and him aren’t going anywhere serious. All of a sudden he starts showing you less interest over time or he just keeps you in the sex zone. You end up wasting weeks or even months of your time with him.

 

SO WHY IS THIS BAD?

It’s not so bad if this happens to you once. But if you get caught up in this loop and this keeps happening to you it will break your self-esteem, lower your confidence, and cause trauma. This is why it’s important to be able to identify a player! Because dealing with players is like candy. It tastes good but is really bad for your health in the long term.

 

But here is the good news! You don’t have to get caught up in the player-loop. In fact, not every girl does. Some girls know how to identify a player and not waste their time. You see players are usually smooth and know how to lie. They know what they are doing and this is why they are able to attract and juggle around multiple girls. But with a few tips and advice, I can show you how to identify a player and avoid the player-loop.

 

Because if you don’t avoid the player-loop you will end up like those girls who have been used so much that they have no hope of finding a man. You can also end up losing your ability to be feminine and sweet. Your patience will start to run out and soon you will end up meeting a good guy and not even be able to open up to him or trust him because of your past trauma.

 

3 WAYS TO IDENTIFY A PLAYER

 

1) HE IS UNPREDICTABLE

A guy who wants to keep you around for a good time and not a long time understands one thing. That females love mysteries. In fact, what makes players so smooth is their ability to be unpredictable. This is why they are able to lead girls on so easily. Here are some examples of how they do this.

• • They don’t give you direct answers to questions

• • They don’t reply to texts quickly or consistently

• • They play with your emotions but never fully commit

These are just 3 examples. Let’s go over all of these examples in more detail.

 

When a guy gives you direct answers he is giving you clarity. But when he is showing almost no relationship or emotional interest at all he is also pushing you away and making you lose interest as well. However… there is a sweet spot!

 

Players know the sweet spot. They know how to show you just enough interest to where you think there is potential for a possible relationship, but they also know how to be mysterious and unpredictable at the same time by not giving you clear direct answers. This is called “keeping you on your toes”. When a man achieves mastery over this they unlock the ability to keep girls around for a good time.

 

For example, let’s say you ask him this:

 

You: Hey so where are we going with this? Are you open to a serious relationship?

Him: I’m open to anything. Whatever happens happens. I just like to go with the flow.

 

Now do you see what he just did?! He is in the sweet spot. This is what I call keeping you on your toes. This wasn’t a clear direct yes or no answer. He is making you think it’s possible but also making you think that it isn’t certain.

This reply makes you feel a little confused but also gives you hope. It’s these little things that allow a guy to play with your mind and it works!

 

It’s natural for a girl to chase the guy that is unpredictable. But you have to re-wire your brain to not think this way otherwise this will hurt you in the long-term. A guy that is more serious and has a serious interest in you will usually give you a more clear direct answer.

 

Here is an example:

 

You: Hey so where are we going with this? Are you open to a serious relationship?

Him: Of course I am. I was actually wondering the same thing about you. I prefer something serious if it comes to that.

 

Do you see the difference? Clear, direct, and straight to the point! This is a starting point to determine if he’s mature and knows what he wants. Always remember… clarity is power. How can you move the needle without clarity?

 

Imagine asking somebody if they want to go to the gym and lose weight and they say this.

Ummm, maybe it depends on the flow of things. I’m open to losing weight. If it happens cool. If not oh well. Whatever happens happens.

 

Now would you take that person seriously? If you were a trainer would you want to waste your time training them? Probably not. If he is also replying to your texts slowly he is making you think more. You are thinking about what he’s been doing all of these hours. This is how a player moves. He is playing with your mind and making you confused to keep you around.

 

2) HE PLAY’S HARD TO GET

This ties into reason number 1. You see most people are attracted to what they can’t have. This is why I say you need to rewire your brain. Because this is a natural biological instinct for all of us. We want what we can’t have. But this can also be a trap.

If the guy you are dating is playing super hard to get it’s a sign that he is probably a player or at least he’s trying to play with your mind. It could also mean that he is genuinely not interested in you. A lot of girls chase the guy that is hard to get or play hard to get.

 

Again, this is yet another reason that girls get caught up in the player loop. The signs are always right there in front of your face. Yet our natural instinct kicks in and we chase the person that is hard to get.

 

There are 2 ways a guy will play hard to get. The first way is that he will act extremely confident and he will also act confident in being single. He will come off like he really doesn’t need a relationship. He can show this in a bunch of different ways such as :

• • Not texting you back fast

• • Not always inviting you out on dates

• • Asking you to come straight to his house

• • talking to others

• • not being romantic with you

• • canceling plans

In fact, a study conducted by NBC News proves that playing hard to get will attract people a lot more to you! So this is backed up by studies and surveys. If you want to read more about this click the link below.

https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/playing-hard-get-actually-works-study-confirms-1c7687504

 

Guys usually don’t play hard to get as often as girls do. This is because females usually have more dating options than most men. Men who are players are men who are very good at attracting multiple females to them. This is what gives them the courage and abundance to play hard to get and while playing hard to get can be used for good intentions like making a girl chase you for a potential relationship, most men use this method for the opposite reasons. To keep you around and interested for a good time not a long time.

In most cases, a guy that is more serious about dating or a potential relationship will not play hard to get. He will usually just be himself and show you interest if he seriously likes you. He won’t play games as much. So use this as a guide when getting to know a guy.

 

3) HE IS NOT VERY NICE OR SWEET

I’m sure you’ve heard of the term nice guy before. We already established earlier that a lot of girls like to chase the bad boys. Players understand this more than anybody. They know that being a nice guy won’t work very well when trying to get multiple girls to chase you at once.

 

Being a nice guy is good when you are focused on one girl that you like and that you are trying to get to know. This is why it’s a good sign when you run into a nice guy. Yet so many girls pass on the nice guy. They spend time chasing the guy that the opposite.

If you’re dating a guy and he isn’t very sweet or nice with you it’s a red flag. He is most likely doing this on purpose because men usually move in a way that aligns with their intentions. If he is looking for just fun and to keep you around for a good time then he will not be too nice or sweet. He will do what he has to do to get you chasing him.

 

But if he likes you or wants something serious he will be nicer and more sweet to you. But it’s your job to be attracted to the right things. If you are not attracted to nice guys then you will always find yourself dealing with the wrong guys and you will fall into the player-loop. Yikes!

 

In conclusion, these are the 3 most important signs that you are dealing with a player. So make sure you always pay attention to these things when you meet a guy. These are easy red flags to read but hard to ignore because girls chase guys who do this.

Are these 3 things easily noticeable to you? Comment down below to share your experiences!